As a child, I thought that Martyrdom was quite a logical end to Life. It represented meaning rather than random Death. It was the best punctuation for the end of the sentence of Existence on this Earth. I always have been a deeply spiritual individual, although in time, I came to have little trust in organisations and the 'human' elements in any religion. My own Faith is Roman Catholic, primarily because of the 'magic' of the Sacraments, and especially the belief in transubstantiation... Whatever the priest may or may not be in his own time, he holds that incredible power to transform a wafer and a cup of wine into the Body and Blood of God! The other reason I adhere somewhat to this Faith is the Blessed Virgin. I do not trust any religion that does not place any Women in high regard. Motherhood is another form of Magic and the Blessed Virgin suffered almost as much as Christ, yielding to the necessity of the Ultimate Sacrifice of her Beloved Son. That is no small achievement. I doubt I could watch as my Child met a terrible torture and death!
At the same time, I am some one who has studied and followed the ancient Northern 'Pagan' traditions, who sees Odhinn in the same light as Christ, who has participated in the rites of Muharram and wept for Imam Hussayn. I do believe there is more than one path to Wisdom and more than one path to find 'nearness to God' or as it is put in Arabic 'qurbatan ilallah'.
Martyrs are extraordinary of course. I have nothing but admiration for the Martyrs for Palestine. Martyrdom for a cause that is above and beyond any consideration of personal gain or profit is noble in theory. The problem is that so often, Causes are controlled by dishonest individuals. Martyrdom for Freedom from Occupation in Palestine is indeed laudable but who would benefit? It is not the people of Palestine, but the often corrupt Leaders who purport to represent them who reap any rewards in these cases. In most cases, it is the People who are punished as well, who carry the burden of the cost.
A childhood hero of mine was the Stuart King, Charles I of England. He was a true Martyr, who did not falter nor seek mercy when he realised he would be executed by his enemies. In my own imagination, I have lived through the drama again and again and wondered if I would show any courage or be a coward ultimately. As people have declared over and over, it is impossible to know until one is tested. Do I want a martyr's Crown? It once was thought to be the ultimate goal for any one who had principles, but apart from anything else, the irony is that the older one grows, the less invested one is in sacrificing life for 'ideals'. Yes, I still have ideals and I wish that the world were different, but what I see in the end is that martyrs for the most part die for a cause that has corrupt elements. Their hearts are pure, but the cause is NOT pure.
For what or whom would I be willing to die now? I suppose the answer to that is less clear than it once was. Circumstances probably would dictate it entirely. If my daughter's life were in question, I hope I would have the courage to give mine instead. As far as my other heroes are concerned and their own sacrifices, Odhinn remains very high on the list, although, as a God, he did not perish despite the pain and suffering he offered in sacrifice. To risk life for wisdom and the knowledge of other realities or worlds still to me is a worthy aim. Unfortunately, although I suffer from severe chronic pain, that does not catapult nor draw me towards any real enlightenment or vision for the most part, except for one point in hospital when I believe I 'flatlined' briefly and had a very clear and detailed vision of Our Lady and Christ. The message there, when I asked why one had to suffer so much pain was that pain is what gives us the ability to empathise with other creatures. Fair enough. It does make sense!
